Blame the Mud
by Shadow in Time
Summary: While on an offworld mission SG1 runs into the locals, who are far from friendly. In order to get away from the them, SG1 hides in a pit of mud. Once back to Earth, Jack tries to help Daniel scrub the mud off of his back...


Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Daniel, or Stargate SG-1... in short, not mine.

SG-1 walked through the gate and down the ramp to where General Hammond was waiting. "What happened to the four of you?" he asked looking them over. "We decided to go puddle jumping, sir," O'Neill joked. The four of them were covered from head to toe in mud, the only thing still flesh colored was rings around their eyes and mouths where they had wiped the mud away. Hammond looked at Daniel, hopefully he could get a straight answer from him. "The locals weren't friendly, sir. We knew that we couldn't get back to the gate and dial home with them chasing us..." Daniel explained, "and we had seen a huge mud pit on the way so we decided our best chance to get away from them was to try and lose them and then jump in the mud pit and wait for them to pass us by." "I see," said General Hammond, "we'll debrief after you've all showered." "Yes sir," Jack replied as he walked towards the doors.

Teal'c had gone to the infirmary to get a shot of tertonin. Daniel started to strip his clothes; Jack was standing beside him doing the same. Even where his clothes had been, his skin was still coated in mud. "It's amazing how much mud is like sand," Daniel said. Jack looked over at Daniel as he unbuckled his belt, "huh?" "It gets everywhere..." Daniel explained, pulling off his pants. "Oh, yeah." Daniel walked into the showers, turned on the water, and stepped into the spray. Jack walked into the showers, he took a moment to look over Daniel. The mud was proving difficult to wash off, even when you scrubbed at it. Jack couldn't help but smirk when he though about what Carter's reaction would be when she found this. He wouldn't be surprised if she rushed in here to pull them out and take mud samples from them for study.

Jack watched as Daniel scrubbed at his chest. Daniel turned and looked at Jack, "this stuff doesn't want to come off, does it?" Jack started scrubbing his arm harder, "no, it doesn't." "Hey, could you get my back?" "Um, yeah, sure," Jack replied and walked over to Daniel. Daniel handed him his scrubber and turned back around. Jack began to scrub at Daniel's back. Trying to keep his mind off of the fact that he was washing another naked man's back, he started asking Daniel questions. "So, do you reckon that those people were kin to those people we met on PJ8-376?" "No, the people from PJ8-376 were more like the Sioux indian... the folks we met today were more along the lines of a Mayan civilization," Daniel replied. Jack paused for a moment, trying to process what he had just been told, "right."

'Maybe it's best not to ask questions that I won't be able to understand the answers to...' he thought. He started washing the mud away from the back of Daniel's neck. Jack looked at the patch of skin that he had managed to get the mud off of, it looked soft. He kept scrubbing the mud off but he kept his eyes on the clean patch of Daniel's neck. Jack moved his free hand up to Daniel's shoulder, close to the clean patch of skin, acting like Daniel wasn't standing still enough for him to scrub the mud of properly. He slowly inched his fingers closer to the clean patch of skin on Daniel's neck until he could touch it... it was as soft as it looked. Jack bit his bottom lip.

Daniel shifted uncomfortably, this was a lot more awkward that he first though it would be. Damn alien mud, why wasn't it coming off? Maybe there was something weird with it... now that he started thinking about it, he did feel kinda weird. His stomach felt like it had hundreds of butterflies in it and there was a tingling sensation crawling down his spine going straight to his... "guh." Daniel rested his forehead against the wall and took a few deep breaths... wait a second, what was that? He looked down, Jack's hand was wrapped around his cock and was slowly moving back and forth along it. 'Whoa, wait a second!' was what his brain said, but somewhere between there and his mouth it was changed to "faster".

Jack obeyed Daniel's request and quickened the speed of his hand. Daniel groaned and reached behind him, putting his arms around Jack's neck. His breath became quick and labored but he managed, "gonna come..." "Colonel O'Neill!" came General Hammond's voice from their left. Daniel moaned loudly and came, beginning to collapse to the ground. Jack quickly let go of Daniel's cock and wrapped his arms around Daniel's waist, preventing him from falling to the ground and leaving himself exposed. "General Hammond..." Jack's voice was at an unusually high pitch, though he was surprised he had a voice at all. "What the hell do you think your doing!" Hammond yelled. Sam, Janet and Teal'c were standing right there beside General Hammond, Sam and Janet blushing a deep crimson and stepping behind Teal'c and Hammond. Jack knew he shouldn't have thought that Sam would want mud samples... these kind of thoughts had a way of actually happening.

"Uh...umm...uh..." Jack struggled, trying to come up with a halfway valid sounding reason. "It was the mud, sir," managed Daniel, though his voice was even more high pitched and breathy than Jack's. "The mud?" Hammond turned to face Sam, who was no longer standing there. He looked behind himself and then stepped out of the way to reveal a crimson colored Sam, "Major... is it possible that this mud could be the reason for the Colonel and Doctor's behavior?" "It's possible," she squeaked. General Hammond's eyes widened and he looked for Janet; Teal'c moved out of the way to reveal an equally crimson colored Dr. Fraiser. "Doctor, get these people to the infirmary at once! I don't need any more of my personnel humping each other!"

Jack had gotten a towel and wrapped it around Daniel and himself, "sir, we weren't humping each other... it was a hand job." Hammond, now blushing pink himself looked at Jack with a mix of disbelief and annoyance in his expression. "It's the mud, sir," Daniel repeated, his voice less breathy but still high pitched. Hammond narrowed his eyes at Daniel and then looked back at Janet, "get them to the infirmary!" "Yes sir," she squeaked and motioned for them to follow before quickly leaving the showers. Jack and Daniel, with quiet a bit of difficulty, followed her, towel still wrapped around both of them. Teal'c and Sam followed the them, Teal'c holding a hand towel behind O'Neill to cover what the other towel didn't.

After having all of the mud scrapped off of them and then soaking in a tub full of disinfectant and hot water they were quarantined. Jack and Daniel shared one room, Teal's and Sam another. Jack and Daniel lay there in silence for what seemed like hours before Jack finally said something. "The mud? You think that's really what caused us to...you know?" Daniel shrugged, "I dunno, but if all else fails, blame the mud." Jack laughed and then thought for a moment, "did you notice anything on that planet that was important... any artifacts or anything that we would have to go back for?" Daniel thought for a moment, "no, I don't think so... why?" "Oh, I was just kinda hoping for an excuse to go back," Jack looked at Daniel and smiled mischievously. Daniel grinned, "I could think of something."

_Fin. _

_Plz review!_


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